Speech Impediments

When I was litte, I had a speech impediment. It wasn't the worst in the world by any means, but I've seen videos of myself when I was younger and even I can't understand what I am saying. That's when you know, I guess. Happily, I still had some friends in grade school, in large part because of my twin/translator Chel who would relay to friends, teachers, and even sometimes my own parents some semblance of the things I was (trying) to say. I worked on the speech thing a LOT and today sound reasonably like a normal human being. The only times it ever really presents itself is when I am tired, rushed, or intoxicated. I can usually be proactive about all three causes, so there are very few times in my life when people cannot understand me.

However. My name is consistently a problem for me to pronounce. My own name. On bad days, I rue the decision my parents made about my name. It's odd that a speech impediment would show itself in the single most thing I say everyday. My name is not hard. In fact, both my first and the last names are shockingly common. Emily Maureen Flynn. One might not feel this is an especially hard name to say or to understand (but one would be wrong). It's especially worse over the phone; I loathe introducing myself over the phone. "Emily Maureen Flynn" still comes out exactly like it did when I was four- something kind of like "Emewy Mo-ween Fwin". Nothing makes you feel quite like a college-educated adult than when you mispronounce your own name.

I went through a few (...many) periods of my life when I decided to be done with the speech problem and simply change my name. In third grade I decided I was going to go by 'Abby', which I felt was beautiful and sophisticated and was a name I could actually say. I'm not sure where I got this name from, but for about a week I wore my hair in pigtails and exclusively wore overalls (so people would know I was now 'Abby', as 'Emily' had not worn her hair in pigtails). I only responded to that name, and pretended that I didn't hear people when they called me Emily. I'm sure it was a trying time for everyone. Then in middleschool I decided I was a far better "Tessa" and wrote stories about my life in the role of Tessa. No pigtails were worn this time, which is probably why people didn't particularly take to this name either.

My family calls me "Emma" because I think it was easier for them (and for me!) to say. At the restaurant I introduce myself as Emma when answering the phone, because I still get tripped up on the Emily. Maybe one day I will finally grow out of it, but for now I guess Emma is going to have to do. But maybe I'll just go back to Abby. If you see me rocking pigtails and overalls, you'll know what to do.