We're gonna need a montage

There are some moments in my life when all I want is a fast-forward button. Though I try to be a great proponent of living every minute to its fullest, of throwing off those bowlines, of carp'ing the diem and saisir'ing the jour (if you will), there are just times when I look at the situation I find myself in and think, "pass." Unavoidably, there are times in every person's life that aren't particularly enjoyable. Standing in lines. Riding the commuter rail. Grocery shopping. Any period of time that you wouldn't be able to relate to someone else in a funny and engaging can qualify. "And then corn was on sale, 5 pieces for $2 dollars! And I bought an artichoke!" It's not exactly the stuff of which dreams are made, but they are the basic inevitabilities of day-to-day living in this busy world of ours. I understand that, I do. I just believe, down in the deepest depths of my star-gazing soul, that there should be a montage option.

Years before I paid good money to see Team America World Police, I grew up feeling that there had to be montage capabilities in my life. There just had to be. I thought that, if I just concentrated hard enough, I would have the ability to transform the next few moments (hours, days, whatever) into a condensed, effective, and inspiring bit of bite-sized life. A slice of life, where I could glean the important stuff, take home all the take-homes, and then come away a bit more inspired than when I started. Add in a few sweeping panoramas, some dramatic scene cuts, a background song that really encompassed the feeling of the moment, and voilá: perfect montage. It would make life so much better.

There is nothing more inspiring than a montage set to "c'mon guys, we can do this!" kind of music. Think the montage scene of all montage scenes, the fight scene from Rocky III. We get Rocky training, boxing, losing, becoming determined, and then winning, all in 3 and a half minutes. Do you know how long a boxing match takes in real life, let alone the whole training process and finding that inner resolve to work and train harder? I don't, but I would bet good money it's longer than 3 minutes. (Probably?) THIS is why montages are great: I want to live my life, but live it in a more exciting way. A montage would enable me to fast-forward the boring stuff, with the added bonus of possibly making the boring stuff even better. Because how much faster would you type out that report if "Eye of the Tiger" was playing in the background? How quick and excellent would your walk to work be if "I Believe I Can Fly" by R.Kelly swelled in from the background? When "My Name Is Lincoln" by Steve Jablonsky starts up as you do crunches, clean your bedroom, write cover letters, even taking a nap, would anyone have any question in their mind as to whether you will or will not succeed? No. No they would not. And with a montage, you won't even have to endure the endless tedium of crunches. It's a win-win.

This is why I violently want the montage option to be real. If I will it into existence, it will come. Studying, walking, and even washing some dishes- by god, it will all seem suddenly heroic. Though I can't find any homemade youtube videos out there that support me in this belief (really youtube? really? nothing?) one day I hope to make my own inspiring montage out of really boring menial tasks. Washing windows. Swiffering the floor. Standing in line at the bank. Reading a newspaper online. If you'd like to help me in this endeavor, let me know. (Here is what youtube did give me, and for that I am thankful.)

In lieu of an actual montage button (sigh), my music player does get me halfway there. By acting as my own personal soundtrack against the world at large, listening to (good) music makes any long-ish task seem suddenly incredibly important, introspective, worthwhile, and dare I say it, epic. And because good music should be shared, I've compiled a few of my favorites.

The Bravery, Believe. I've been using it when applying to jobs and/or the search for meaning in this crazy world of ours. When lead singer Sam Endicott sings, "So give me something to believe 'cause I am living just to breathe/ and I need something more to keep on breathing for/ so give me something to believe" my heart pangs in a kind of kindred spirit recognition. It pangs.

Sometimes when I'm commuting I need a little reinforcement. Jay-Z provides that, with his collaborative cover of Linkin Park "Numb" called "Numb/Encore."

Elton John, My Father's Gun. Aside from my undying belief that Sir Elton can do virtually no wrong (and thus naming my iDog in honor of him) this is a perfect song to listen to if you are forced to undertake any superfluous chore. When those first few chords come in you suddenly feel a bit more bluesy, a bit more to-hell-with-the-world, no-one-understands-you. But then you realize that it's all going to be ok. (Or so the song makes me want to feel, anyway.) Hypothetically, if you are forced to shop at Whole Foods (because hypothetically it's the only supermarket within a 20 minutes radius and you don't have a car), this is an incredible song to feel a "no one can understand you" kind of unique, setting yourself apart from other organically-minded high-end food-shoppers. Are those spandex-wearing young business professionals going to be listening to the Tumbleweed Connection on their ipods? Doubtful. Very doubtful.

Kaiser's Orchestra, Maestro. Alternative rock straight out of Norway, sung in Norwegian. It doesn't matter that you can't understand the words. For instance, I listened to it perhaps 4 or 5 times before I thought to myself, "hey, are they singing in English?" and would have been convinced of any language you told me. The words don't matter. Kaiser's Orchestra demonstrates that all you need is a catchy chorus and passion. And maybe some subtitles, too.