Tweet tweet, quoth the raven

This is going to sound awfully hypocritical coming from a girl with a blog, but there is an astounding amount of inanity flowing around the interwebs today.

Specifically I'm talking about Twitter. Just what IS twitter? Well, unless you've been doing something productive with your life you'll know it's only the most awesome real-time text-like super-connected 140 character-limited "revolution,"* (so say the Wall Street Journal, anyway). Twitter is the social networking platform that lets any person write posts, or tweets (the past tense of twit?) within a 140 character framework. All this from the diaboloical mind of Jack Dorsey, the creator of Twitter eons ago in 2006. The namesake for the platform itself is defined as "a short burst of inconsequential information" and "chirps from birds," which Dorsey referred to as being the perfect definition for the social site. Inconsequential information and bird chirping? Modern age, I knew I liked you. Let's explore!

Now I know I'm late to the game to really examine what Twitter is about, but just by doing a small amount of "research" I found some gems that Twitter users have offered up to the international web-browsing community. What follows is a representative sample.

a.) FKLCCLOTHING: FAT KIDZ LOVE CAKE AND I DON'T MEAN FAT KIDZ IN A FAT PERSPECTIVE MORE LIKE FAT KIDZ AS A PERSON WITHA FAT SWAG.

b.) Bieberbrothers: RT IF U ARE TOTALLY ADDICTED TO TWITTER & TO JUSTIN BIEBER !
c.) CrystalKylaa: No God?! Dumbest tt ever. If you opened a bible and read you'd figure out THERE IS A GOD. stupid science.

Fascinating. Twitter has clearly called the intelligentsia to action in full force. And by the intelligentsia I mean anyone that can that has access to a qwerty keyboard. And by action I mean chirping, inconsequential posts. Don't worry, that strikes a familiar chord with the revolutions I learned about in school in me, too.

Sure, sometimes** in our sound byte culture we crave constant stimulation. We need just a little snippet of info, some pretty lights on flashy commercials, sweet new-fangled technology to keep us in connection with others, and Lady Gaga's myriad of outfits just to get us through the day. As a collective culture (well, most of us anyway) we have developed a deep need for instant gratification. Even a half hour sitcom is a commitment sometimes. (But not you, Ghost Whisperer. I still adore you.)

Don't get me wrong, I hold a deep affection for the internet. Spend too much time there in fact, stumbling upon and doing random google searches. (Do you ever do the one where you type in the beginning of the question and see what random things people have asked google? Good times, good times.) The ease and quickness with which questions can be immediately researched and answered is awe-inspiring, as well as (potentially, if used correctly) academically and culturally furthering. And it sure is fun! But Twitter, oh Twitter... My verdict is still out on you. Any place where you have the anonymous factor of an instant message, the complete lack of inhibition of a youtube comment, the access to a following that can make anyone feel like their utterances are profound and meaningful, as well as a complete lack of spell check, perhaps it is not an entirely safe combination.

But maybe I just don't care what ramblings are knocking around the heads of celebrities. (I have better things to do, like getting educated observations about said celebrities' thoughts from Jezebel.com). Even friends and family, the very same who lie near and dear to my heart, are not saved from this numbness caused by the sheer amount of information and the over-saturation effect that a Twitter-like network brings. I personally want some mystery involved in my relationships. I don't want to find that my really cool friends are, in fact, inane. Boring. Republican. (Just kidding, EG! I already knew you were.) I don't want that. You don't want that. The world doesn't want that.

For me, there were a few technological revolutions that changed the way I interact with the internet. First there was Myspace. I liked Myspace. I had a few pictures. I had a few inspirational quotes (mostly Mark Twain, as I was deep.) I had a couple posts from friends. Jason Mraz was even my "friend***" on Myspace! So that was all well and good. Maybe I didn't like the spam comments from random accounts asking to friend me and then re-posting on my wall. ("dynOmite gurls, click here!!! lol kthxbai") But you know what? I dealt with it. I accepted its flaws, and still had a vibrant (well, as vibrant as it could be) myspace experience. Nevermind that myspace has devolved into what is now largely pre-teens and pedophiles, it was very hip in its moment.

Then there was Facebook. Facebook, now there is a social networking platform. Call me old-fashioned, but Facebook used to be a privilege. A privilege! After getting the highly anticipated college acceptance letter I still checked my mail religiously every day for nearly two months until the (possibly) more anticipated letter came from my college that contained one sacred thing: my college email account access information. With this occarina's flute I could now enter into that glorious world of college students. There was a modicum of respect involved with a Facebook account: it was self-selecting, as one had to have an active college email account. This little caveat guaranteed that most of facebook's early users fell into the realm of 18 to 24 something young adult. Facebook had enough restrictions to be exclusive and was young enough to not be desirable (yet) by the old generations. My peers, my people. There was the one profile picture that I was allowed to adorn my "page", my interests section (I was an highly interesting individual), a wall that other people could add to or delete (who thought that was a good idea, Facebook Version 1.0?), music quotes, my religious, relationship, and affiliated statuses. And more! Yes, it was a lot of information and most of it pretty inane, but it painted pretty good picture of a person. A snapshot biography, really. Twitter loses that aspect in their micro-blogging. It has a lot of content but very little context.

Twitter. As though people were so good at expressing themselves before, they can now do it while constricted to 140 characters or less limit. Maybe (unlikely, but maybe) the word constraint is a good, creative thing. Like the six word memoirs of National Public Radio's Not Quite What I Was Planning, where people write a six-word form of their personal life stories. (My favorites- William Shatner's: Failed SAT. Lost scholarship. Invented rocket. & Graeme Gibson's: Thought I was right. I wasn't.) But maybe Twitter will pull a myspace and fall into oblivion, becoming only accessed by pre-teens, pedophiles, and spammers. I give it 'til at least the next month. That is, if people can keep their attention span on it that long.



*The only accurate excerpt part of that statement was the word that lies between the quotation marks.
**All the time. 
***Soul-mate.