Your Cold Weather Fashion Apparel Forecast

Why do people inhabit Massachusetts? Or any part of the northeastern seaboard, for that matter. It. Is. COLD. For the past two hundred days (give or take a few) the temperature has barely risen a tenth of a degree above something like negative fourteen point one. The only good thing about living in the cold of the northeast is the small period of winter before Christmastime. Magical, harmonious, snowy white and fresh. But after Christmastime... meh. The fact that the cold weather also eliminates the live-ability for cartoonishly large and formidable creatures is another thing for which I am thankful. (I'm looking at you, scorpions and spiders.)

Since it is cold in Massachusetts nearly 8 months of the year, cold weather "fashion" apparel is a necessity. You know you live in a cold climate when hearty outer wear can be considered fashionable.

Of these, ear-flapped "fur" hats are the funniest cool items of the moment. It's probably not real fur, as we are in the commonwealth of Massachusetts and thusly- progressive. Were fur hats ever cool before this? I thought only dorks from 90s movies wore them and were promptly ridiculed. But if you look carefully around the frozen avenues of Boston, fur hats, especially the ear-flapped ones, are oh so in vogue. Petite women and older men alike can't get enough of the fur flapped hat. Yes, it keeps you warm, but at what cost? You can't hear anything on the periphery, which is a rather large obstacle in a pedestrian's successful avoidance of oncoming traffic. And it also makes you look approximately 5 years old. But do I have one? Yes. Does it keep me warm? Immensely so. Can I hear anything? Usually, no. But it's okay, we "only" have three months of winter left. (Optimistically speaking.)

Also in vogue are "indie" patterned winter hats, the kind a mountain sherpa might wear on his llama trek into town. These are the kind of hats that say "I care about warmth and function over form" at the same time they quietly whisper"...but this hat cost me sixty dollars." Which seems like a departure in the "I don't care as long as I'm warm" category. 

I can't wait for spring to come to remind me of all the good things that come with being in the Northeast and will subsequently reaffirm my decision to remain living here. Only three more months...