The 95th percentile loves the rap

I went to a college where a shocking number of people own a Northface jacket. There, Ugg boots are a staple, popped collars are not unusual, intellectual discussion is held while reading Kant in the coffee shop on weekends, and during the week social time is spent over thought papers and annotated bibliographies in one of the libraries, of which there are five. These are not necessarily bad things, and of course there are exceptions. But when coupled together the effect can prove somewhat overwhelming.

There is a saying that I've heard many people use, the "work hard, play harder" mantra. As a friend once said, "I work hard during the week and so I can forget it all on the weekends." Hey, there should always be a light at the end of the tunnel. But perhaps the most dazzling aspect of this culture is when the light at the end of the tunnel involves intoxicated dancing to ridiculously explicit and very specific song lyrics from rap songs. (How else would I have learned what to "Superman" someone was, if not from a rap song?)

I enjoy the occasional adult beverage. I love to dance. But it is always an experience (good or bad? verdict still out) to see good, well-mannered, college-educated kids shouting out the lyrics to L'il Jon and the East Side Boyz' "Get Low,"  which happened a lot at parties. A refresher on the lyrics:

To the window ([Shouted]: TO THE WINDOW), to the wall, (TO THE WALL)
To the sweat drop down my balls (MY BALLS)
To all these b*s crawl (CRAWL)
To all skeet skeet motherfriender* (MOTHERFRIEND*) all skeet skeet gosh darnit* (GOSH DARNIT*)
To all skeet skeet motherfriender* (MOTHERFRIEND*) all skeet skeet gosh darnit* (GOSH DARNIT*)

Shortie crunk so fresh so clean can she friend that
Question been harassing me in the mind this b* is fine
I done came to the club about 50th 11 times now can I play with yo
Panty line club owner said I need to calm down security guard go to sweating
Me now n* drunk then a motherfriender* threaten me now

**Swear edits with asterisks mine: this is a family blog. 

Some questions: Why is L'il Jon so angry? What exactly is "50th 11 times?" Is that kind of like when Saturday Night Live had celebrity jeopardy skits, and Norm MacDonald was playing Burt Reynolds in an oversized cowboy hat and the final jeopardy question was "Just write a number. Any number." and Norm-as-Burt wrote "Threeve?"

I especially like when girls start shouting out the part about "b*s," and other such euphemisms for a female dog. It's like embracing the negative turns it into a positive! (Now where have I heard of that phenomenon before...) But have I done it before at a party? Of course. Is it still wrong to subjugate women into being anonymous vessels for the sake of a pretty terribly written, mostly slang-driven rap song? Perhaps.

Another song that falls into this category (the drunk kids-dance song category) is the new club (bar/ birthday party/ ivy league/ future bar mitzvah?) favorite simply titled, "Shots," by LMFAO.

Shots shots shots shots shots shots
Shots shots shots shots shots
Shots shots shots shots shots
everybody (x2)
If you ain’t getting drunk get the friend* out the club
If you ain’t takin’ shots get the friend* out the club
If you ain’t come to party get the friend* out the club
Now where my alcoholics let me see ya hands up
What you drinkin on? 

(**Edits mine. See aforementioned asterisk reasons.)

You're telling me that SOMEONE, either one of the LMFAO hair twins, the producer, or anyone member of their entourage, took one listen to the beginning chorus consisting of the word "shots" being repeated ad nauseum and felt it... needed to be repeated? Is there a purpose, or do they just like sibilance? Secondly, any song that asks people to proudly identify as an alcoholic is clearly not written or targeted at actual alcoholics. Because I hear that is a disease and that there are groups for that, groups outside of clubs that play songs that demand you take multiple shots or leave. However, I'm sure bartenders love it. There is nothing stronger than the drunken power of suggestion that demands you jack up that bar tab. Don't they know we're in a recession? In the last line LMFAO asks, "what you drinkin on?" Is this a serious question? Just listen to your chorus, man.

Last weekend I went to a party of a friend of a friend with a small group of other kids. We were outside the friend circle, but we were all happy and game to meet new people. When we walked into the apartment it was a slightly different crowd than we were really used to. More wine-sipping and less Berkshire Brewing Co drinking. More modern dance and less hip hop. More plaid shirts and intellectual glasses. While everyone was decently nice, it was clearly an apartment party for close friends. My motley crue group of friends and I felt a little... well, like we didn't really know anyone. So we stationed ourselves at the doorway between the kitchen and the living room for the majority of the night. This is the ultimate destination for people who don't know anyone at a party: it gives you the most options for interactions with other people (they have to get by! you might as well say hello) in addition to not taking up prime realty in either room from more deserving people who actually know the host of the party. The party makeup was a lot of girls in their young 20s and, interestingly, men who appeared to be around 35 and 40. I don't ask questions. So while everyone was ok with us being there, we pretty much stayed in our little kitchen-living room doorway huddle, with my friend Weber feeling increasingly more ill-at-ease and turning red as the night wore on. As we were deciding our next move (tempted to stay because we didn't want to leave our original friend, but also not wanting to stay in a doorway all night) one of the girls decided to put on music.

Now, if you were at this party, what song would you expect them to put on? My money was hands-down Fleet Foxes, or Sufjan Stevens, or any other like-sounded melodic indie rock. (woot. woot.) Heck, even Vampire Weekend would have been appropriate. And then Jay Z's "99 Problems But a Bitch Ain't One" came on. To say the least, we were not ready for it. It caused me to ask myself, "what did these people know about 99 problems?" Even though a definite part of my high school experience involved friends and I driving around town and listening to the Black album (or the DJ Danger Mouse's version, the Grey album- so good). it's not that I can really relate to the music, not really. Problems? My worst problems lately are the existential angst that comes from attempting to seek out my life calling and that my iPod broke. Poor little rich kids. Gots an education, gots career problems, gots lots of taxes, why doesn't anybody understand me! But I guess that wouldn't make a very good rap song. Too MV and Tea Partay.

The most interesting part, for me, was that people didn't really react to the music. It was as though any ol' song could be playing, when in fact Jay Z was explaining in lyrical prose how the police racially profiled him on the highway and suspected him of drug cartel. Jay Z does make great music. And music should be able to be appreciated by everyone, because music at its truest form is made for entertainment. It was just unexpected for the setting, s'all.

My friend Weber nearly lost it. And then, when L'il Jon and the East Side Boyz came on at the party with their seminal hit "Get Low" we decided we had to go. We were dancing to the music, singing along to the lyrics, and, for whatever reason, not jiving with the crowd that night. No one even yelled the lyrics. You can't play "Get low" and not yell the lyrics. (TO THE WALLS.)

Music is an outlet, this much is true. Rap seems to be a way to act out aggressive and sexual fantasies for many kids that, in all likelihood, will not experience the very things the rap songs are extolling. And what is music if not for entertainment? But I still think having all these kids dance to things like David Guetta ft. Akon's "Sexy B*"(She's nothing like a girl you've ever seen before/ Nothing you can compare to your neighborhood friend*/ I'm tryinna find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful/ Damn Girl, Damn, you's a sexy b*.") is hilarious. Especially if they are wearing a Northface.

*Thank you to TIP, for knowing more than a tour guide, and to Matt for grammer correxshuns.